Saturday, 5 April 2008
The gospel according to Hillary
"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." — on visiting Bosnia in 1996, contradicting other accounts that said there was no threat of gunfire. Clinton later said she "misspoke".
"I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian."
"God bless the America we are trying to create."
"We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word."
"He ran a gas station down in St. Louis... No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century." — introducing a quote by Mahatma Gandhi
"Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody’s going to believe them." — commenting on Bill Clinton’s affairs.
"If I didn’t kick his ass every day, he wouldn’t be worth anything." — commenting on Bill Clinton.
"I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life."
"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
"I have said that I'm not running and I'm having a great time being pres — being a first-term senator." — on her presidential ambitions.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Fool for thought
In a move that is sure to have major petroleum companies quivering in their safety boots international groups are organising mass action to confront dirty energy and demand a just, green energy future.
The actions have been called for by the international Rising Tide network, youth and students with the Energy Action Coalition, and Rainforest Action Network.
"Fossil Fools Day" is an international day of protest focused on climate change and energy issues. Actions being planned so far include Critical Mass bike rides, green job rallies, protests and civil disobedience at power plants, energy companies, urban sprawl developers, Bank of America mass account closures, car dealer "adoptions," no coal photo petitions alternative energy expos, and more.
Protests are planned in over 100 locations throughout the US, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand.
Leading climate scientists warn that dramatic reductions in greenhouse gas emissions must begin immediately to avoid catastrophic climatic shifts, yet most policy proposals consist primarily of goals that are decades off.
Fossil Fools Day will bring about creative, and often confrontational, actions reflecting this urgency.
Activists will be demanding a rapid transition away from fossil fuels and toward the localisation of energy, food, and economic systems for a just, sustainable future.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Party boy trashes neighbourhood
The party is well and truly over for one raucous teenager.
"I didn't do nothing," said Kevin.
"I just put an invite on my Facebook site and sent a few text messages. It was the best party ever."
Residents meanwhile are in a state of shock.
"We just don't know if we can trust him anymore. I just can't believe he would go behind our backs like this. It isn't what we expected from him at all," said one worried home owner.
Neighbours are not happy. The housing market is trashed and banks have been forced to put up interest rates to try and recoup some of their losses.
"It is unfortunate, but in the end the community will have to pay for this," said one bank manager.
Apparently the trouble started when some union heavies showed up and tried to take over the party.
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Bronwyn Bishop is back
Bronwyn Bishop announced that she will be putting her hand up for leadership of the federal Liberal Party at the next party meeting.
"I will be a candidate for the leadership of the Liberal Party at the next party meeting," she told reporters outside her home.
"Will I will be seeking the leadership of the Liberal Party when our party room meets in the next week? Yes I will," said Bishop.
"I believe I have the energy and drive and the determination to set a new agenda for the advancement of this great country."
Ms Bishop's announcement came after outgoing Treasurer and deputy leader Peter Costello announced he would not seek the leadership position to replace John Howard.
Ms Bishop has contacted a number of colleagues and supporters today about her candidacy and believes she finally now has the numbers.
"Do I think it will be a competitive field? No I don't" she said.
"I don't expect any of them to be rushing to put their hands up for the role."
Friday, 9 November 2007
Hovember
Kevin Rudd grows his eyebrows in an attempt to win the Hovember Ho Brow competition
Hovember (the month formally known as November) is an eyebrow growing political event held during November every few years. At the start of Hovember political wannabes register with fresh clean policies.
The Hovember participants known as Ho Bros then have the remainder of the month to chop and change their policies and along the way spend as much money as possible on bogus issues and other events they have no control over.
Hovember culminates at the end of the month with an election. Here glamorously and groomed bland politicians will battle it out in a personality-free zone for a chance to take home the prestigious Hovember title.
Monday, 5 November 2007
Xenaphobe Worrier Princess
In a time of Ancient Gods, Warlords, and Kings, a land in the turmoil of unemployment cried out for a hero... She was Xenaphobe. A mighty princess forged in the heat of a fish and chip shop. The power, the passion, the danger. Her courage will change the world forever.
Surrounded by enemies, barbaric tribes, slave traders, communists, dole bludgers, the unemployed, foreigners, drug addicts, Aboriginies, Asian crime gangs, non-English speakers, and refugees, Xenaphobe is on a one notion mission. Her notion. To free her people from the Asian hordes and stop Muslim foreigners crossing the borders. more>>
Friday, 19 October 2007
Kevin Rudd waxing lyrical
OK, so its an old video clip, and no doubt listening to Anthony Albanese going on about people living in caravan parks had a lot to do with it. But you have to wonder if anything has really changed.
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Lord Voldermort rises again
I eventually got around to seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I found quite disturbing.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I couldn't help thinking that "You-Know-Who" or "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" looked awfully familiar.
Where had I seen him before, and is he still furthering his quest for ultimate power?
I just hope that wand is not made from old growth forest wood.
This video is a lot more fun though.
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Australia to ban political movement
Australia found another suspected case of foot in mouth disease in a huge complex in Canberra today and immediately imposed an exclusion zone around the area.
It is likely a large group of politicians will have to be culled in an attempt to stem the outbreak.
A statement issued by the Government said an exclusion zone had been thrown around the capital, Canberra, the scene of numerous recent outbreaks.
A Government source said officials were determined to act quickly as political commentators warned that Australia's political industry would be "devastated" if the case was confirmed.
A crippling outbreak of foot in mouth disease is likely to wipeout a large stock of Liberal politicians and the Government is desperate to limit the damage across the country.
Prime Minister John Howard's official spokesman said the Government would impose a nationwide ban on the movement of all politicians if tests confirmed a fresh outbreak.
Results are expected any time now and the Government's emergency committee would meet soon after the results were known.
"We are not a party that is prepared to take any risks," said Kevin Rudd, leader of Labor Party.
"We support the Government's nationwide ban on political movements. The Government can not afford to delay any longer. I just want to say we are not a party of delays. We have a plan for the future and it does not involve delays."
This new suspected case comes just days after political experts failed to declare Australian politician's free of foot in mouth disease (FiD) and lift a ban on all political movements imposed during APEC.
A Union spokesperson said they viewed the news with "extreme concern".
"This is an absolute disaster for the Liberals," the spokesperson said. "But they have no one to blame but themselves for this latest outbreak".
A Government report suggested it was "highly likely" that the virus entered the political system during the recent APEC summit in Sydney that saw hundreds of world leaders trapped in close confinement due to traffic congestion.
A spokesperson for the NSW Premier Morris Iemma, denied the State Government was responsible. "This was the best APEC Sydney had ever had," said the spokesperson.
Friday, 14 September 2007
Search engine optimisation 101
Well all that junk mail about proven tools that help you to get top 10 rankings in Google, Yahoo and all other major search engines has finally paid off for Rocket. Or has it?
Rocket never invested in any unique real-time website promotion software tool that you cannot get anywhere else. Or even bothered with one of those three-easy-step programs guaranteed to improve your web pages for top 10 search engine rankings.
But I can safely say highly ranked web pages bring more visitors to your web site — and more sales too, if only Rocket was selling anything.
A quick search for 'rocket' on Google throws up around 55,600,000 pages. And there on the first page, about 5 links down is ROCKET — no doubt attracting more than a few confused Al-Qaeda operatives as well.
Over the years numerous sites have linked to rocket. Many of them no longer exist, so our list of friends is rather threadbare now. If you already link to rocket, make sure your link points to http://www.rockhate.com — and let us know so we can update our list of Rocketeers. Linking to Rocket might just boost your Google ranking as well!
Thursday, 13 September 2007
The email
Long before blogs made is fashionable to post a comment, Rocket was providing a forum for political comment and posting reader comments online. And while they keep coming in there is no reason to stop.
Here is a preview of some of the latest outbursts. Uneditied and best served as they are. Cold!
"Before you and yours continue bagging Howard re his possible decision not to complete his term as PM if elected …
Suggest you have a real serious look at the recent “retirements” on LABOUR Premiers of past months / years …."
Pauline still manages to pull in some supporters too
"Good on you Pauline you have my vote, Krudd and Coward last on the list ..."
And who could forget Jeff Kennett. One of the first Australian political leaders to have his very own web site...
"I have to say how disappointed I am in you. How dare you tease us with coming back into politics. No more teasing Jeff, just come back and get this grand state of ours back where it should be."
Feel free to send an opinion of your own to rocket@zip.com.au.
Sunday, 15 April 2007
The very model of a modern moderate mufti
I am the very model of a modern moderate mufti
I’ve support significant, from the clergy and the laity
My Friday sermons are renowned for being rather radical
And guaranteed to whip the press up something quite hysterical
And while I am always very quick to support the Taliban
I’m definitely not moving to some village in Afghanistan
When someone wants a fatwa there’s no point in using common sense
With too many dreadful facts about Islamic jurisprudence
Wednesday, 7 March 2007
Burke flu bungle
Australian health officials have tried to quell fears over any potential burke flu outbreak after numerous politicians were suspected of being exposed to the deadly disease.
Perth politicians are being monitored amid fears they were exposed to the burke flu virus.
Human services minister Ian Campbell was placed in quarantine after it was revealed he may have come into contact with the deadly virus.
Officials expect it will be some months before he is allowed back to work.
It is likely he will resume normal duties sometime after the next election.
Health officials stressed there was no cause for alarm in the wider community.
"We believe the risk is very, very low for the normal population," a spokesperson said.
"This burke flu virus doesn't have a track record of infecting ordinary people."
Nor was there any chance the virus will escape political containment facilities. However, members of the business community have been warned to be on the look out for possible symptoms.
Safety procedures have been put into place and an investigation is under way to determine what went wrong. Officials are treating this as an isolated incident caused by human error.
Most politicians have now had been spoken to, to ensure safety procedures are followed. These procedures may need reviewing to ensure they are adhered to in future.
Tuesday, 27 February 2007
Hanson ups the anti
Dancing with the Stars celebrity Pauline Hanson shimmies down a parliament house pathway to meet with journalists.
Hanson announced she is running as an independent for the Senate in Queensland in this year's federal election.
It's been more than a decade since she was last elected to the House of Representatives.
She galvanised the country with her maiden speech in September 1996 suggesting that Australia was in danger of being swamped by Asians.
Recently she caused a stir when she said African migrants had diseases such as AIDS, and too many Muslims were being allowed into Australia.
Ms Hanson ran as an independent Senate candidate at the 2004 poll but failed to win a seat.
She received 4.54 per cent of the vote and pocketed $199,886 for her trouble.
If she achieves the same number of votes at this year's poll, she will take home about $216,000.
Should she win it will be at the expense of Democrat deputy leader Senator Andrew Bartlett. Although she can hardly be blamed for the Australian Democrats' support hitting rock bottom.
The major political parties will campaign against her and she is unlikely to get preferences from any of them.
If she ends up holding the balance of power in the Senate it’s unlikely to make much difference. The major parties tend to pick up her issues and policies anyway.
Sunday, 25 February 2007
Gigastar to challenge Howard
Dame Edna Everage, housewife and self-confessed ‘gigastar’ will stand for Labor against John Howard in this year's election.
The announcement took Labor by surprise, they thought she would want a safe seat, instead of challenging the Prime Minister.
"I'm nominating for the seat of Bennelong because it's time," Dame Edna said.
"It's time, a Dame was in Kirribilli. Australians need a different kind of political leadership. They are crying out for an American style of leadership where old movie stars become presidents."
"I would have been quite happy to be Governor-General, but Kirribilli is much better for hosting events and tv shows," she said.
"Labor needs me, Australia needs me, Kevin needs me" said Dame Edna.
"Kevin and I go back a long time. I used to change his nappies for him. He had the cutest little bottom. I can still see those dimples now. So I just couldn't refuse him when he asked for my help."
Dame Edna was coy about plans to buy a house in the Bennelong electorate. Although she could have her eyes on a bigger prize.
"I want to do what I can to help Kevin and if that means living in Kirribilli, well it's a sacrifice I am willing to make," she said.
Friday, 23 February 2007
The three amigos
New South Wales laws were recently changed to allow Dick Cheney and his personal bodyguards to carry guns while in Sydney.
Cheney and his entourage will also travel in bullet-proof limousines.
Protesters will not be so lucky and have been warned to take extra care.
Cheney shot his best friend Harry Whittington, 78, in the head on a hunting trip in Texas.
Under Operation Warwick, Deputy Commissioner, Special Operations, Terry Collins said all efforts would be made to ensure that accidents were kept to a minimum.
"While we acknowledge the individuals' right to voice their beliefs and opinions, and to protest in a lawful manner, mistakes do happen" said Mr Collins.
"Police will be ensuring that protesters move along without delay, in fact we encourage them to move quickly and in a zig-zag fashion, as it is more difficult to hit a moving target."
In a speech to the Australian-American leadership dialogue in Sydney, Mr Cheney had nothing but praise for John Howard, who allowed him to carry firearms in Sydney.
At this stage it is unclear if Dick Cheney will visit the safe shooting room in Kings Cross.
Sunday, 18 February 2007
Wayne's world
Kevin tries on a tracksuit much to the delight of Wayne.
Not content to just mess with the mind of John Howard, Kevin has decided to mess with his image as well.
Slipping into a green tracksuit Kevin leaps up, throwing his hands in the air as he realises he could easily be mistaken for the Prime Minister.
Before you know it he will be stealing the PM's policies, speeches and sound bites, and the makeover will be complete.
But in order to rain on Howard's re-election parade he still has to pull the wool over the eyes of the Australian electorate.
Friday, 16 February 2007
Please explain again
It looks like Pauline is back. Not only is she planning a political comeback in this year's federal election, but her autobiography should be selling like hot fish cakes at the end of March.
She hasn't resorted to Obama bashing yet, but she has managed to whack Muslims and black South Africans.
So, results of a DNA test revealing she is 9 per cent Middle Eastern must have been a shock.
It is obviously more than just a patriotic dress sense that she shares with Sheik Hilali.
They both have trouble being understood, and their advisors leave a lot to be desired.
Woman's Day is the magazine that gives its readers what they want, and all 2.7 million of them obviously want more Pauline Hanson. She is in the latest issue talking about her boyfriend - a country music singer. It's unlikely he will end up in rehab, but a romantic holiday in Paris might prove difficult.
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