Sandline Mercenaries join Queensland Police

In an extraordinary deal thrashed out between the Federal Government and PNG's Foreign Minister the Sandline Mercenaries are to be used in Queensland.

The Queensland Police Minister, Jim O'Sullivan, welcomed the move, saying that the Queensland resources were very low. "We are stretched to breaking point, and it is becoming increasingly difficult for us to provide the sort of police service which right wing extremists expect," he said. "This will also give us access to an amazing arsenal of weapons to combat the crime wave spreading across Queensland."

The Queensland Premier described the move as a win-win situation. "It is no secret that we have been forced to rely on US Military Personal to help Queensland Police maintain law and order, and combat petty crime. We have not been happy with that situation, and feel that the presence of the Sandline Mercenaries in our Police Force will provide a much needed deterrent."

Civil rights activists are outraged by the move, describing it as totally unnecessary. A spokesperson, who declined to give his or her name for fear of repercussions, said that there were already enough thugs in the Police Force who used unnecessary force when apprehending alleged criminals. "Why spend more taxpayers money putting hired killers in the Police Force when there are already too many of them there?"

Pauline Hanson, the Independent Member for Ipswich was delighted with the move. "It is high time that we got strong on crime," she said. "The Police are too scared to walk the streets for fear of being verbally abused. People have to know that they cannot continue to break the law and get away with it. I fully support this move. People have to learn to respect the Police for the good service they do to the community. Instead police officers are spat upon and abused. I know what it is like to be spat at and abused by kids, so I understand how these cops feel."

The deal will give the Queensland Police Force a formidable array of weapons, including two helicopter gunships, three troop carrying helicopters, as well as grenade launchers and AK-47 assault rifles to combat petty crime.

The Queensland Premier denied any taxpayers money would be spent. "These mercenaries have already been paid," he said, "so whether they kill natives in PNG or beat the crap out of them in Ipswich is really beside the point."