Conspiracy rocks the docks!

In late-breaking news that has come to our attention here at Rocket, it is becoming more apparent that the conspiracy on the Australian waterfront goes a lot further than was at first believed. It appears that the operation involves a web of intrigue that stretches around the globe.

It is generally thought, and indeed the idea is propagated by Union members, that Patrick Stevedores undertook a clandestine operation to sack all their wharfies in an attempt to break the stranglehold of the Maritime Union of Australia. However the plot is far more sinister and suggests that both Patrick Stevedores, the MUA and even the Australian Government may be nothing more than pawns in a carefully orchestrated international operation.

The timing of the recent conflict on Australian wharves is no coincidence, but it has nothing to do with reform on the waterfront and even less to do with productivity. Rather it has to do with redeploying an international workforce that is coming under increasing pressure to reinvent itself as its members find themselves out of work.

The International Mercenary Redeployment Association which has been set up for the express purpose of finding work for, and rehabilitating former mercenaries has been operating world-wide for a number of years.

It is no coincidence that the waterfront dispute is hotting up just as Northern Ireland is on the verge of an historic peace treaty. This is going to mean huge layoffs in the IRA which is keen to trim the size of its army to that of a nation at peace.

The IMRA is a secret international organisation funded by WHO and the IMF that finds peacetime employment for mercenaries worldwide. The IRMA has been so successful that they are believed to be partly responsible for the recent RAF decision to disband and enter the conventional workforce.

Working closely with the international union movement and under an elaborate business migration scheme worked out with the MUA, the IMRA is planning to move large numbers of ex mercenaries to Australia. In return the MUA will guarantee work to any IMRA member --- the only condition being that they join the MUA. The fact that this will also allow the MUA to maintain and enhance their hallmark, leftest, militant mind-set is no doubt regarded as a convenient coincidence.

The conflict on the Australian wharves has been cleverly orchestrated by the IRMA under guidance from South African psychologists with extensive experience rehabilitating former ANC guerillas. The idea is to establish a climate the former mercenaries can relate to and feel comfortable in, without creating the violence they are used to.

The new influx of migrants that will soon be arriving in Australia are not boat people bound for detention centres. Rather, they are white, middle-class, middle-aged militants bound for the docks.

Although many in the first wave will be coming from the IRA, they are not all from Ireland. The IMRA oversees the rehabilitation of all mercenaries world-wide. Many of their members have seen active service in Kenya where they fought the Mau Mau 40 years ago. Others helped prop up the old Rhodesian regime of Ian Smith, fought against the Communists in Angola, saw active service in Lorenzo Marques, and more recently have been offering their services in Bosnia and other exotic Eastern European trouble spots.

Not all of these mercenaries will be joining the MUA. Those who do not wish to join a union will have just as much chance of finding useful jobs. Many of the security guards, truck drivers and non-union labour now employed by Patrick Stevedores have in fact been recruited through IMRA-affiliated companies. While some of them did indeed receive training at Dubai, none of them are strangers to the waterfront. For years they have been involved in clandestine operations loading military supplies in ports around the world.