Don't Tampa with Australia
International support for the Australian Government response to the asylum seekers stranded aboard MS Tampa off Christmas Island has begun to flow in.
Zimbabwe President, Robert Mugabe was the first to offer John Howard support.
"I cannot stress too highly my delight at the firm action you have taken in relation to this invasion. Having tried to cope with our own problem with illegal white squatters on big white farms, I can honestly say, the only way to protect your sovereignty is through forced removal," said Mr Mugabe in a statement delivered to John Howard by the Zimbabwe High Commissioner.
Mr Mugabe added he looked forward to fruitful discussions with John Howard at CHOGM in Brisbane. "It is important to strengthen the ties between our two countries and we will do whatever we can to support Australia at this difficult time."
John Howard was reportedly touched at such support from a struggling, impoverished nation. "Land invasion has ruined one of the jewels of Africa," said Howard. "My Government will not allow the same tragedy to happen to the people of Australia. We have a right to protect our borders from unwelcome invaders."
It is believed the Zimbabwe President offered to send an armed force to reinforce Australian troops engaged in the crises. However, as many Zimbabwe troops are serving in the Congo or involved in harassing farmers off the land it is not certain how effective this unit would be.
"It does not take much to intimidate downtrodden and depressed people into leaving of their own accord," said the Zimbabwe High Commissioner. "There is much we can teach the Australian military."
Further embarrassing what is left of the Tories, former UK Prime Minister Baroness Margaret Thatcher also offered support in a communiqué delivered to John Howard.
"Someone should have had the courage to do this long ago. It is time to take off the velvet gloves and show them the iron fist of democracy at work. The Commonwealth cannot stand by and be held hostage by a bunch of heathen land grabbers," she said in a statement.
"It is important to stand firm and make the tough decisions, I made those decisions during the Falklands war and believe that together the Commonwealth countries can stand firm and stamp out this hideous unChristian trade in human misery. These illegal immigrants should be returned back to the primitive countries they came from immediately."
Pauline Hanson is so thrilled with the Governments response to the latest boat load of illegal immigrants she is reportedly thinking of changing One Nation's tactics and giving preferences to the Howard Government.
"I said all along most Australians want our immigration policy radically reviewed and multiculturalism abolished. I believe we are in danger of being swamped by Asians," she repeated. "Let them go back to their own culture, their idolatrous religion and their pathetic homes. They will only form ghettos and do not assimilate."
John Howard, obviously buoyed by the support was once again on talkback radio to thank his supporters and reinforce his government's position.