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Hanson's Kindie Surprise

What should have been a routine vote winning exercise for Pauline Hanson and her Pauline Hanson Movement Party turned into a bit of a public relations disaster when Pauline Hanson visited a local Kindergarten in her Oxley electorate.

Two of the children ended up being taken into police custody, while a little 3 month old girl was released on bail. The 3 month old girl, apparently vomited down the front of Pauline's blouse as she picked her up. Although the child's mother swore it was an accident and claimed it was only because she had just been fed, Pauline was furious!

To make matters worse, 4 year old Tommy Smedly, who had been trying desperately to attract her attention, allegedly whacked her on the knee with a little plastic hammer he had received as a Christmas present.

When Pauline bent down to rub her knee, she was jabbed in the eye by a Barbie doll that Susie Smedley, Tommy's sister, was trying to show her. "I just wanted her to see my new dolly" wailed Susie, as Pauline snatched the doll and frantically tried to wipe her blouse with it.

"It was just an accident", said the Kindergarten teacher. "It could have happened to anyone. Unfortunately for us, it happened to Pauline. These children are usually very well behaved. I don't know what got into them".

"These are not little darling angels", Pauline later fumed in a TV interview with Channel 7. "The truth is they are just very badly behaved children. Little Susie has been terrorising other children with that Barbie doll. No one is safe. And that other little girl just cries all the time and is really just a nuisance to her mother who should be at home looking after her --- not out working all day!"

The Queensland judge who decided to put the two older children into custody declined to be interviewed but, in a written statement, said he blamed the parents for giving the children dangerous toys to play with. "These children have obviously not received decent parenting. These kids need to be watched closely. Both their parents work so no one looks after them properly. It is important that we find a decent home for them so that we can break this cycle of violence, otherwise they will just end up in the prison system."

"I don't care what anyone says", said Ms Hanson, "we should all be treated equally, these little white children should be treated the same as if they were aboriginal! They need to be punished for what they have done. They have to be held responsible for their actions. You don't just go around thumping people on the leg with a plastic hammer. I don't care how old you are. That little boy is a monster. He probably even refuses to eat his broccoli, and I saw him having a tantrum at the local supermarket."

All little Susie could say was, "a dwongo took my bawbie!"