Clone Highjacks Conference
Jarrod McKenna | 15 April 2002
Remarks attributed to American President George Bush, regarding Human cloning legislation on 10 April 2002, are now believed to be those of a defective Presidential clone.
Speculation arose as the global community tried to explain the discrepancy between the President's words and the actions of his presidency.
"We know it looks like him but it can't be the same guy" one onlooker was heard to mumble during applause after President Bush stated, "as we seek what is possible, we must always ask what is right, and we must not forget that even the most noble ends do not justify any means."
Initially it was thought the President made an honest mistake in reading the transcript because of the blatant contradiction to every action the nation, under his leadership, has taken since September 11.
He meant to read "As we seek what is possible, we must always ask what is right for us, and we must not forget that our most noble ends justify any means."
As the rhetoric continued it became evident it was not Mr. Bush but a more compassionate, intelligent genetically engineered Bush clone.
The mutation of this clone --- affectionately called "Dubya 2" --- from a narrow minded, right wing, xenophobic, power hungry, militarily bent Texan to a Christ-like figure has highlighted the positive effects of cloning
Dunya 2 statements like "our children are gifts to be loved and protected", and "I will insist that we always maintain the highest of ethical standards" have opponents of human cloning reconsidering their stance.
The Post-Cloneists, an Australian leftwing Liberal splinter group, is insisting Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, be cloned immediately.
It is believed a more compassionate, mutated Howard clone sympathetic to asylum seekers and the unemployed will emerge.
The spokesperson for the group stated, "It has worked for the Americans why can't it work for us Aussies".
A global movement hopes to redeem politicians from their endless semantic gymnastics used to justify power hungry agendas that exploit the world's poor.
Cloneists in Great Britain believe cloning Tony Blair is the only way to keep the new movie '51st State' from becoming a prophetic reality.
"Replacing Mr. Blair with one of the new fandangled clones is the only way we are going to pry the Prime Minister's lips from President Bush's bum", commented one elderly woman in London.
Palestinians, Afghans and Iraqi people await the ramification of "Dubya 2's" new ethic exhibited in his April 10 address; "Research cloning would contradict the most fundamental principle of medical ethics, that no human life should be exploited or extinguished for the benefit of another."
Many now believe America's evolvement in the exploitation and extinguishing of people for economic gain might finally come to an end.
Japan, North Korea, South Korea, Vietnam, Cuba, Indonesia, Cambodia, Chile, El Salvador and Afghanistan hope this new ethic espoused by the "Dubya 2" clone will reach American classrooms.
Learning the true results of American involvement abroad will end "children being engineered to the custom specifications" of consuming, unquestioning Westerners.
The President's lack of integrity and coherency has spawned a number of theories espoused on numerous web sites and Internet chat rooms.
Psychological and behavioral syndromes may be the cause according to one group. Schizophrenia, possibly bipolar with a hint of histrionic tendencies, is blamed for his odd thought pattern, speech, perception, and behavior.
Another group believe the president has really, really bad karma.
Others that he is the antichrist, a white devil, or just drunk.
The most popular view is that President Bush, leader of the world's biggest superpower, is the village idiot in our global community.
In further developments, UAE Health Ministry Under-secretary Dr. Abdul Rahim Jaafar refused to comment on speculation secretly developed clones of Yasser Arafat and Ariel Sharon are part of an Arab-led Middle East peace initiative
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