Zimbabwe Wins First Oscar

It really was bad timing for Slobodan Milosevic and Saddam Hussein as Hollywood decided to stop overlooking Blacks at this year's Academy Awards.

After missing out for years, Zimbabwe President, Robert Mugabe finally managed to beat off stiff competition to pick up his first Oscar for Best Dictator.

The victory has been tainted by claims of favouritism, cronyism and good old fashioned racism to say nothing of vote rigging and election fraud.

Newspapers in the Western world gleefully played with the word black in their headlines while other nations got mileage out of vote rigging, chads, Florida and America.

Many members of the Academy have expressed surprise at the outcome and fear that the result could easily have been rigged. No one is talking openly or willing to confirm if they did vote for Mugabe for fear of retribution.

However the Academy was at pains to explain that at no time during the voting process was anyone intimidated any more than usual.

"Of course there were some marketing campaigns, but I doubt Zimbabwe could match the dollars the big studios spend," said a spokesperson after the award ceremony. "There was even a strong campaign movement to reward Blacks".

It is believed the Academy was desperately seeking a way of maintaining credibility and relevance in a difficult market.

Other contenders for the Best Dictator award were Osama Bin Laden --- still in hiding since his last TV performance and the Burmese junta of General Than Shwe, General Maung Aye and General Khin Nyunt

Slobodan Milosevic was a strong contender for the Best Dictator award, but an Academy spokesperson confirmed that Milosevic's chances had been damaged by his recent outburst at the Hague war crimes tribunal.

President Mugabe was not present at the Awards due to recent travel restrictions, but delivered his acceptance speech via a TV linkup.

Visibly shaking and sobbing he could hardly be heard as he told the Academy to "go to hell".

"The Academy can go to hell," said Mugabe as he broke down yet in another award wining performance.

"We don't need them to tell us what movies to watch. Our people decide and that is what matters to us. It's not the right or responsibility of the Academy to decide. We don't tell them how to make movies so why should they poke their pink noses in our business? This is not just a victory for me. This is for all oppressed Blacks fighting against imperialism and colonialism"

The rest of the 74th Academy Awards were unremarkable except for the usual bizarre displays of hero-worship, tacky fashion and boring acceptance speeches.

It is believed Zimbabwe celebrated the victory with another round of rioting, looting, mayhem, stabbing and murders.